Sunday, April 10, 2005

Lights on, lights off ...

Ah, what could have been ... comic writer/artist and enemy to internet fanboys everywhere, Chuck Austen, started a blog at the end of March, but apparently pulled the plug a few days later. Unles he's kidding, like he was with his April 1 entry. Or in his post on Craig Thompson and Blankets:

I don't get Craig Thompson. I really don't.
Some people pass out when they meet him at a comic book convention. I swear, I've seen this happen. This one girl, over in Chicago, she broke down in tears the moment she shook his hand. She just wouldn't stop crying.
Others worship the ground he walks upon. They want to kiss his feet and have his love child.

But why? For God's sake, why?
What's the big deal about Craig Thompson? So he wrote this book. Blankets, it's called. It's a blubbery blubfest about a nerdy guy who desperately wants to get laid with this girl, who desperately wants to do other stuff but humors the nerdy guy because he reminds her of a dying puppy or whatever. Then they break up and the nerdy guy whines about it for about six hundred pages.

I write stuff like that in under thirty minutes. Every. Single. Month. And yet, you don't see people worship the ground I walk upon or beg for my love child. Really, I write stuff like that during breakfast. Only with more sexual innuendo in it. And big-ass fights. Every good comic book has to have big-ass fights. Craig Thompson's comics don't have big-ass fights. QED.

At least I assume that's a joke, because it's funny as hell.

Dead means dead. Just ask your grandma.

If you're looking for something to read besides YET ANOTHER Infinite Crisis at the House of M hype story or fanboy complaint thread, Kung Fu Monkey delivers the goods in the form of an interview with God on Infinite Crisis on Actual Earth (that would be your world and mine ... well, mine, anyway).

John: A long series of weird deaths --
God: Reagan, Arafat --
John: Johnny Cochran
God: From that great run on "I Can't Believe It's the Justice System".
John: Prince Rainier, Saul Bellow and more, then a bizarre wife-murder crime run, followed by reintroduction of old villains the Avian Flu and Ebola Outbreak, plus crossing the line on peak oil production --
God: Wow, you noticed that one. You are a fanboy.


John: Any regrets?
God: Never should have let Millar write the Schiavo thing.