Monday, June 28, 2004

Follow the Logic:

From poster MetalFan at Newsarama, on one of those "Why do people like the Ultimate Universe threads." See if you can follow the logic in MetalFan's post...

"I would like for you guys to post this at the bmb boards and let them know what you think.

I did that yesterday about this and it was shity because those guys like the u line and gave some good reasons why,and some good reason to try it,but i think the way some of you guys do about the u line, and whoever said it's continuity free is saying bs.

post these thoughts of yours at the bmb boards or copy them...just copy them post them and let the good discussion go.

Maybe you can explain to them why you think the u line is crap."


Yup... Nothing makes a day shitty then telling a bunch of people why a "bunch of comics are crap." Only to have them tell you some good reasons why they like it and why you should try it. How dare those bastards do that to MetalFan!

Oy.

Rich Johnston, Eat Yer Heart Out

Comic message board gadfly SimplyJD has started his own rumor column. The rumors aren't exactly new--Gaiman on Thor, return of Thunderbolts with Dave Ross on art--but his site is worth a visit for the free giveaways and other stuff anyway.

Oops

What's Mark Millar been up to lately? Who knows ... his site, millarworld.biz, went down this weekend because he failed to renew his domain.

Welcome to the temporary parking page of millarworld.biz. This domain name expired on Jun 26, 2004 .

I'm sure somehow DC is to blame for this.

Fist of Fury

Here's a fun little story about Chris Claremont that leaves an odd (and disturbing!) mental image. And should be strangely satisfying to anyone who wasted money on Sovereign 7 or Extreme X-Men.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Eat the Rich

At Silver Bullet Comics this week, The Panel asks the question, "Should comic fans go on a diet?" No, they aren't jumping on the "No Carb" bandwagon that has brought us crap like No-Carb Doritos (cardboard, anyone?) and C2, the low-carb Coke that is supposed to taste better than diet but doesn't. Fan Joseph P. Gauthier explains his question:

...there are no "discerning tastes" among the majority of comic consumers. That we basically "eat" whatever the publishers give us. In fact, we mostly over eat when we're not even hungry. Buying comics has become more habit than love.

Stinz creator Donna Barr responds: "Sometimes we need stories more than food." If an animal is starving, it will eat dung (well, dogs don't care, and scarab beetles prefer it). If there is plenty of food, the animal can pick and choose according to its needs and wants and best interest. Our zoo is starving!!!!

Dung? Obviously she's read Holed Up!, Witches and Identity Disc.

Bitchy Bitch creator Roberta Gregory might have taken the question too literally ... or maybe not: Well, I think a lot of the problem is a sedentary lifestyle. But if fans suddenly became active and athletic, they would read less comics, and then were would we creators be? I just read an article in the paper that said Americans get a third of their calories from junk food, so it is probably not much different in the UK. Personally, I have discovered as I grow older (I am over 50 now!) I need to eat much less food than I thought I do, and I am very active, trying to walk 3 miles a day and with a physical labor 'day job.' I will cook my usual eggs-and-veggies brunch dish and find I only need to eat half of what, a few years ago, I thought was a normal serving-- I can save the rest and nuke it later for dinner. Perhaps, then, it is the fact that fans are aging and have a perception of how much food they need from several years earlier. AND, the plus side is, if you are spending only half the money on food now, you can buy MORE comics and graphic novels. It is a win-win situation!

Joseph's question is a good one; how many fans buy books to "keep a run going" or out of momentum rather than because they really enjoy the book? But I guess if they did that they couldn't constantly complain about Chuck Austen on message boards (right ... like that would stop them).

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Golden Rule Selectivity

People have a tendency to speak their mind on message boards about artists or writers (never colorists or inkers or letters... what? No love?) unless they know the person is listening. Isn't it great how posters will go from saying:

"Quesada can hire any of these artists and what does he do? Get Bill Sienkiewicz! The man is a hack...."

to

"Cant we ever get a pro to pop in here without someone bashing him or her?"

The former quote from a thread with no pro's in site, and the later on a thread with a pro stopping buy. Interesting...

Axebone's Been Axed

I was doing my rounds to various artists' sites and to my surprise, fantasy and erotic artist Axebone has given up his craft for Jesus. I'm not criticizing his decision, but it was a bit shocking to go to his site expecting warrior women with massive racks and erected nipples and instead there is a picture of a beaten and bloodied Christ crucified.

Gail Simone, Love Doctor

Over on Comic Book Resources, Gail Simone has her own forum for talking about upcoming projects, discussing her work with fans and handing out dating advice. One poster, fly on the wall, asks:

I've been dumped before plenty, but it's been a long time since I've been in the dumping business either way.

I did dump one of my girl friends, she got all bent out of shape and there were bad repercussions.

So that's why I want to get a new girlfriend just for the fun of dumping her ass the first chance I get. Like after the second date.

I'm sure that dumping someone and watching their crushed face fall would do oodles for my sexual confidence. You can't have enough sexual confidence.

But I'd have to dump her real fast before she gets the drop on me. Some girls are pretty quick on the draw, especially when it comes to me.

Whoever dumps first wins the relationship. Unless you marry, in which case neither party wins.


Sounds like this guy has issues. Gail responds:

Aha! But the flaw in your logic is assuming there would be a complete first date, let alone a second.

I'm sorry, Fly. I don't see this plan working out.


Good advice, Gail. But keep in mind that her idea of a good comic sex scene involves vegetables.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Kick'em When They're Down

CrossGen's financial woes have been well-documented (welcome to the Information Age, Mr. Alessi), to the point that you can even check out a list of their top 20 creditors at Newsarama. I'm not going to kick them while they are down, especially since Warren Ellis has already done it so well on his Bad Signal email list:

Small press guys! Next time Quebecor World demand payment up front for printing your comics, ask them how much credit they extended to CrossGen!

One and a half million fucking dollars!

Next time American Express gets on your back about interest payments, ask them how much credit they extended to a ropey comics company that never had shit in terms of market share despite boasts of targets!

Half a fucking million dollars!

Next time a Weston hotel gives you shit about how you DID TOO eat the nuts in the minibar, ask them how much they let CrossGen put on the tab in San Diego one year!

Sixteen thousand bucks!

Got an employee? Tell 'em from CrossGen -- if CG can get away with not paying Luke Ross sixteen thousand dollars, then they ain't seeing jack shit!

There's hours of fun to be had with this. A pity that all the really rabid CrossGen staffers who used to give me their fanatical shit have... well, been thoroughly cornholed
and lost their jobs, really...


Abandon Hope, All Ye Comics Fans

Over on his blog, Peter David posted a pretty depressing response to a poster in a thread discussing the current state of the comics industry:

Eric Pilgrim asks:

Peter ...have you ever thought of or been approached for a Vertigo or MAX title? I mean those books are full of creator freedom, right? You could start anything you wanted...like The Adventures of PAD....or something. I just think that you could really rip up the numbers in that market.

PAD responds:

I'm not sure what you mean by "Rip up the numbers." If you mean get big sales, there's no way. I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but the numbers are pretty consistent: No one "rips up the numbers" on anything wholly original or novel or innovative. Safe and familiar is rewarded with big sales; wildly different or innovative just gets you low numbers. Even the most popular Vertigo books still way undersold "Supergirl" and "Young Justice" (which were, of course, canceled).

If you'll excuse me, I'm now going into the other room to drown my Sandman collection in kerosene and set myself on fire.

Fellatio

Over at The Pulse, Cisco Bunny started a topic called Frank Cho draws the most amazing tits and asses. As usual with anything posted on a comic book message board, you will have your attackers and defenders clash their opinions.

The biggest defender of Frank Cho is his buddy Scott Kurtz, of PVP Online fame. Kurtz just had to pipe up with the biggest ass-kissing post I have read in a long while:

    Everyone detracting Cho in this thread looks pretty stupid if you stop reading their post and just look at Frank's art.

    Frank certainly didn't invent the objectification of women in comics (although he may have perfected it).

    The guy is raw, unfiltered talent straight from the tap. It's not surprising that his work is threatening to so many people. Most of Frank's critics are people who wish they could draw as well as he can (which pretty much includes everyone).

    Kneel before Cho!!

Sorry, Kurtz. I'm not kneeling before Cho. You're his bitch, not me.

Paperless Society, Where Art Thou?

Annoying rollover text, bad heavy metal guitar riffs and naked chicks ... what more could you want from a Web comic? (WARNING: Contains badly drawn nudity!)

Byrne Baby Byrne

The always-friendly John Byrne Forums now boast a Fan Fiction forum.

"As you may know, JB is not a huge fan of Fan Fic, but he knows a lot of you are, so this Forum is provided for you to flex your muscles and have some fun," writes moderator Jeff Fettes. Head over there to read such classics as Alpha Flight:The Hidden Years, featuring Wolverine and Vindicator vs. classic lame-o villain the Porcupine, a battle nine panels too long if it goes to ten. (Sadly, it's better than Byrne's Web comic, You Go Ghoul!)

Costume Envy

Tony Harris, artist of last week's buzzbook Ex Machina, dropped by Talk@Newsarama to answer questions about The Great Machine's "retarded" costume.

In a thread urging people to buy Ex Machina (which, by the way, you should do), poster CountD said "cool book, but his costume looks really retarded."

Harris, posting under the name "OBERGEEK," responded:

The point of his suit is ALL based on realism. Read the book again and there are things that are apparent to that effect. Kremlin tells Mitch he found an old helmet to protect his head, he wears an all leather body suit to protect against road burn if he crashes, and as the series progresses, we deal more with the rocket, the heat it produces etc.... Its issue one guys, give this stuff time to play out before you complain about it.

The point is this: Its utilitarian, not necessarily asthetic. Put together by a guy. Not a superhero, a guy. With stuff he could find. Hes not a seemstress like most heroes would have to be with the costumes they wear.

Also, this is a comic- suspend your belief system to read it. I know we say that we are shooting for a realistic take on things here, but we still have guys with powers flying around in a jet pack. Its easy enough for folks to believe in an alien with red beams shooting out of his eyes that can fly, and you cant recognize him when he wears glasses. C'mon.... besides the fact, I think THE GREAT MACHINES costume is pretty damned cool actually.


Thread starter tralfaz added: "I think Count D is just mad that he doesnt have a costume himself Tony."

Tony also posted a picture of himself taking a break from drawing the upcoming "Avengers Disassemble" Iron Man arc.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Coming Soon..

"Worlds lived, worlds died. Nothing will ever be the same...."
- Psycho Pirate, Crisis on Infinite Earths # 12